is every new year this way?

As I was writing in the honeymoon glow of the new year, the question arose, ‘has every new year been like this?’

I honestly don’t know.

There is a certain inspiration that comes with flooding our consciousness with the thoughts and visions of all the ways we wish we could change. Everyone is seemingly taking steps to overcome even the deepest of obstacles in their lives. But is that what is really happening?

I have been ablaze with action. Sawing steel, fixing curtain rails, cleaning, weeding, planting seeds (literally) and so many other things. Yet, when I look beneath even just one of these actions and this so called ‘flooded inspiration’, I find all the same stale energy essentially unmoved, unchanged, waiting.

Still, I will fill my days rearranging the pieces without ever pulling out one weed. It is still helpful. It is better than drowning in the overwhelming tides of our subconscious. Yet, those enveloping and timeless sensations of our consciousness - that which truly changes us and transforms our lives beyond shallow appearances, is obscured by these actions. I try to incorporate it as much as possible in these actions, but we do not always succeed.

So, I am again left with the haunting question, “is this what we do after the birth of every New Year?”